Hilarious

Spouce Migration

 Spouce migration

from bed to couch

can be prevented by

 a censored mouth

***Hi everyone! I will be in Phuket for work so won’t be posting this week….rhyme to you soon!

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Hilarious

Cupid Archery School

Cupid Archery School

 now open for admissions.

 Bow and arrow are provided.

Clothes strictly are forbidden!

Sharp eyesight is required

as is good hand eye coordination!

(While the school wishes the couple well

 we don’t want a repeat of last year’s goat / horse situation!).

Applicants must be girth generous

 (slim cupids are unsightly!).

 Please address your application

 to Headmaster Aphrodite.

 Should you be rejected

we offer remedial love 101 at night.

NB: Many of our rejected candidates

have launched successful dating sites.

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Hilarious

A word from a fanatic Vegetarian

Vegetarianism

is a movement chock full of slackers.

How can you truly worship the legume…

if you eat animal crackers!!?

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Hilarious

How to be a Wife

Being a wife is easy.

The rules are stark and bare:

Repeat what you just have said

and be not attached to his hair.

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Hilarious

The postbox reads my mail

I have a theory.

It’s no tall tale!

I’m sure the postbox

reads my mail!

Just yesterday

I put in a letter

heard a pen uncap

then: “that’s better!”

I mailed a sweater

to Cousin Doug

heard paper rip

then  “…a little snug!”

 I’m sure I saw him

blush 1/2  shade redder!

I think he was

reading my love letter!

And for some reason

I now have a subscription

to “Postbox Digest:

Collectors’s Edition!”

I’m not quite sure

on what to do next.

But one things for sure:

no mailing cheques!

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Hilarious

Granny in her rocking chair

To keep Granny rocking at good tempo

serve her tea and cake alfresco.

Just ensure the tea’s decaf

(Whispers:) I’m sure “why” you dont’ have to ask…

Don’t you remember the headline from last year’s Telegraph?

Geologists baffled!

Caffeine feuled Granny rocks down to Earth’s Mantle!!

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Hilarious

Traffic advice for the brave

Red light doesn’t really mean stop.

 It means proceed

(just don’t get caught!)

Yellow light? Ha!

Silly light citrus!

Its point is just to break up

 colour sheme christmas!

Green light?

Oh it has two messages key!

Step on the gas

and plant a tree.

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