Hilarious

Bedtime routine (funny poem)

Beachy cheeks
Dewy lips
Enough powder
for apocalypse

Pigmented lids
Smokey eyes
Back to lips
now glossified

Quick inspection
“Damn” I said
Wink to reflection
Now off to bed

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Hilarious

Santa’s waistline (funny poem)

Chimneys may look brick
but me thinks its brick looking rubber.
How else does Santa and his girth
descend with all that blubber?

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Hilarious

ABC’s of Singapore

After 7 years in Singapore my family and I are onto new adventures in Perth, WA. As a tribute here is my rendition of Singapore’s ABCs. This is a draft with notes for illustration.

A for Aww! An Oriole! (Who sings admist the green)
B for Bay, Sands that is, a cote de the Marine.

C for chicken rice
D for Dempsy twice (pic of both Demspy Hill and Demspy Road).

E for easylink
F for flower in a flower
G for gasp! Gecko that is! Darting up a tower!

H for hawker center (rating a-c)
I for ice cream uncle (1 dollar durian ice cream).

J for Jalan Kingru, Jalan Besar (which means street)
K for kaya, kopi O, K for kopi C.

L for la
M for monsoon
N for night shopping opportune (picture of pasar malam).

O for orchid blooming in garden botanic
P for people – Singapore – a true multi-cultured fabric.

Q for Qoo10
R for the one and only Raffles
S for Singlish (ok lah? every expatriate baffled).

T for Tanjong Beach Club, T for taste it from a wok
U for umbrella (picture of carrying umbrella in the sun)
V for….hmm, unsure (while you wait here’s a Macaque).

W for wet market
Y for you (Singaporean through and through)
Z for zzz (a blue eyed white Tiger dozing at the Zoo).

 

 

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Hilarious

Math (funny poem)

Before the talk taboo
1 plus 1 is 2.
After “the Birds and Bees”
1 plus 1 makes 3.

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self help poet

Have you ever thought? (inspirational poem)

Have you ever thought
the crack of thunder
the babbling streams
the bobbling glaciers
aquamarine?

The Starling’s dance
spring anew
Have you ever thought
…it’s all for you?

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Hilarious

Life Potpourri (funny poem)

There ain’t no Book of Life
at the Pearly Gates.
Instead, God sniffs your life potpourri
and (Bam!) He knows your fate.

You see, all your thoughts and actions
from the kind to oh-so-evil
dry into life potpourri
ready for Divine retrieval.

Angels flank him at His sides
(with espresso beans in hand),
cleansing his nasal palate
prevents a misreading of “bland!”

If God wrinkles his nose at your bowl
(or worse!) recoils in disgust:
your plans for everlasting bliss
perchance are a bit robust.

And if God should have a cold that day
and his olfactory sense is missing.
You’ll join the queue in Purgatory
till His nose has had some fixing.

His Saints potpourri is in His sock drawer.
His Angels in sachets.
His do-gooders are on His mantel.
His devotees by His ashtray.

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Hilarious

Weekend Goals (funny poem)

Awaken

to bacon.

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