Virus Cure

Oh the virus has infected you!

It’s rampant and you’re teeming!

To cure yourself? Only one way!

Look at life as though your dreaming

The voice of an unpublished writer

I think I’ll write poetry for life

without care of what minds think.

Afterall should you not like it now

…. perhaps you will after a drink.

Refuse to be a side dish in life

Be not the green beans, mash or niblet corn

grab the wheel of life and honk that horn!

The most convenient Dentist

New dentist open for business

no appointment is required.

All you need to do is let him know

what time each day you’re tired.

He’ll pop by close to bedtime

as he does with all his patients

He’ll yawn 10 times right in your face

 (since yawing is contagious!).

On cue as you yawn back to him

be sure to open wide,

he’ll clean your teeth at lightning speed

and take a look inside.

Should you fall alseep on him

and chomp down on his tools

I’m afraid his fees go up for his

(as does cleaning your drool).

 An extra fee  is charged as well

 for cleaning as you sleep-walk.

And for an extra hundred flat

 he’ll record what you sleep -talk!

He’s only had one complaint thus far

“In defense, she does look fetching”

Cindy Loo might disagree:

(he attached her braces to her bedding!)

No matter your opinion though

(and most do think his skills are splendid)

To your complaint he’ll always say:

“I’m tooth fairy recommended!”

Relationship Reality Check

If distance makes the heart grow fonder

do you look at yours & think “go wander”

Chez Pierre?

Chez Pierre?

I’m calling to discuss your duck

 I’ve heard its the best in town.

 But I’m not convinced.. not one bit

so take these instructions down.

Before I dine in 2 weeks time I like

to learn your pre cooking technique.

Not from  your chef or maitre’d

 but from your duck’s own beak!

Please start him on an English course

excelerated written and verbal.

I won’t tolerate “it can’t be done”

I just met turkish speaking gerbal!

If his answer is unsavory

I’m guessing my palette he won’t thrill.

So he can join me for lunch

(…he’ll be handling the bill).

Tunnel of Love

Come one, come all

Don’t be timid!

Ride the tunnel of love

Buy here your ticket!

Feeling lonely?

Dateless still?

Enter heart-a-broken

Leave heart-a-thrill!

I took a seat

and to my delight

 tall dark and handsome

was to my right!

But once in the tunnel

there was a gaze on my face.

Uh oh! Tall dark and handsome

had been swiftly replaced!

A pair of thick lenses

stared back at me.

 Acne reading science journal

had moved up from row 3!

I considered jumping overboard

 while in tunnel’s cave.

 “I don’t like bunsen burners!!!”

 in my mind I did engrave.

But cupid I knew had struck me

when I had the thought disgraceful

“I’d really like to learn more about …

 the perodic table!”

The tunnel had me as a victim

as we moved out from its shelter.

I touched his arm, batted my eyes and asked:

“Is that real polyester?”

So consider this a warning

on this love inducing ride.

Its best to always have a say

on who you sit beside.

Spouce Migration

 Spouce migration

from bed to couch

can be prevented by

 a censored mouth

***Hi everyone! I will be in Phuket for work so won’t be posting this week….rhyme to you soon!

Cupid Archery School

Cupid Archery School

 now open for admissions.

 Bow and arrow are provided.

Clothes strictly are forbidden!

Sharp eyesight is required

as is good hand eye coordination!

(While the school wishes the couple well

 we don’t want a repeat of last year’s goat / horse situation!).

Applicants must be girth generous

 (slim cupids are unsightly!).

 Please address your application

 to Headmaster Aphrodite.

 Should you be rejected

we offer remedial love 101 at night.

NB: Many of our rejected candidates

have launched successful dating sites.