Math

Before the talk taboo
1 plus 1 is 2.
After “the Birds and Bees”
1 plus 1 makes 3.

Suspicious Granny

Granny smirking in her chair,
a suspicious Granny sitting.
Oh my dentures!
Have you seen
just what Granny’s knitting!?

Lover of her bodily functions

When you sneeze, oh the rapture!

To be showered post ah-choo.

A night heeding your nasal snores?

Spilleth over my love stew.

With each of your lurching hiccups

Oh how I do love you more.

To count your moles till the end of time?

Bliss, mon amour.

Your backsplash post garggle.

Your molars mid yawn.

With every scratch you satisfy

My world turns right from wrong.

God and his species maker 9000

On day 7 God has his feet up

but his species maker 9000 continued to work.

That is until the lever got jammed

and the 9000 went berserk.

The Octopus was supposed to have just two tentacles

instead it floats around with eight.

A far too long neck for the giraffe

did it generate.

Readers: let’s take a moment of poetic silence

for those who were 9000-ed from above

(especially for the blobfish who’s face

only a mother could love).