Hilarious

Suspicious Granny

Granny smirking in her chair,
a suspicious Granny sitting.
Oh my dentures!
Have you seen
just what Granny’s knitting!?

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Hilarious

An 8 year old’s resume

Snowflake taster.

Recess connoisseur.

Goodie-bag aficionado.

Head lice chauffeur.

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Hilarious

A list of complaints

My enemies are gloating.
My expression reads revolting.

My cerebellum’s overdosing
on synapses guilty yet consoling.

My concentration is chaperoning
a tendency for disrobing.

My intuition is foreboding
of an expletive offloading.

My brain is emphatically bemoaning
the state of affairs under my clothing.

My conversation is engrossing
to the dead and always moaning.

 

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Hilarious

Lover of her bodily functions

When you sneeze, oh the rapture!

To be showered post ah-choo.

A night heeding your nasal snores?

Spilleth over my love stew.

With each of your lurching hiccups

Oh how I do love you more.

To count your moles till the end of time?

Bliss, mon amour.

Your backsplash post garggle.

Your molars mid yawn.

With every scratch you satisfy

My world turns right from wrong.

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Hilarious

Unlikely to get the job

Listed as her top credential:

“proficient in all three utensils.”

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Hilarious

God and his species maker 9000

On day 7 God has his feet up

but his species maker 9000 continued to work.

That is until the lever got jammed

and the 9000 went berserk.

The Octopus was supposed to have just two tentacles

instead it floats around with eight.

A far too long neck for the giraffe

did it generate.

Readers: let’s take a moment of poetic silence

for those who were 9000-ed from above

(especially for the blobfish who’s face

only a mother could love).

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Hilarious

The thought I thunked

I thunked a thought, I thunked it once,
then the thunk I thought vanished with a clunk!

I searched the thoughts my  brain had thunk
but all I found was much thunk gunk!

I found a picture of skunk
a memory of gramps and of a chipmunk!
(But no trace of the thought that I did just thunk!)

I checked down low (it might have shrunk)
it wasn’t up on brain’s top bunk.

There I thunked with shoulders hunched:
“your vanishing I must debunk!”

My thoughts went quiet, I heard again a “clunk”
and back to my brain came the thought I thunked!

My brain did add (softly like a monk):
“please take this back, it’s utter junk.

And one more thing:  it’s “thought” not “thunked!”

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