Hilarious

Math (funny poem)

Before the talk taboo
1 plus 1 is 2.
After “the Birds and Bees”
1 plus 1 makes 3.

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self help poet

Have you ever thought? (inspirational poem)

Have you ever thought
the crack of thunder
the babbling streams
the bobbling glaciers
aquamarine?

The Starling’s dance
spring anew
Have you ever thought
…it’s all for you?

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Hilarious

Life Potpourri (funny poem)

There ain’t no Book of Life
at the Pearly Gates.
Instead, God sniffs your life potpourri
and (Bam!) He knows your fate.

You see, all your thoughts and actions
from the kind to oh-so-evil
dry into life potpourri
ready for Divine retrieval.

Angels flank him at His sides
(with espresso beans in hand),
cleansing his nasal palate
prevents a misreading of “bland!”

If God wrinkles his nose at your bowl
(or worse!) recoils in disgust:
your plans for everlasting bliss
perchance are a bit robust.

And if God should have a cold that day
and his olfactory sense is missing.
You’ll join the queue in Purgatory
till His nose has had some fixing.

His Saints potpourri is in His sock drawer.
His Angels in sachets.
His do-gooders are on His mantel.
His devotees by His ashtray.

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Hilarious

Weekend Goals (funny poem)

Awaken

to bacon.

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Hilarious, self help poet

Your go-go-ness (inspirational poem)

If you wanna-wanna be it
take-a take-a look inside.
The courage and go-go-ness
already in you reside.

Instead of: “I can’t-ta, can’t-ta.”
Try: “I can-a, I will try!”
The pruning shears are in your hands,
life is your very own bonsai.

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Hilarious

Oh the Humility (funny poem)

I’m the flagship store.
I’m the grand debut.
I’m the gasps, the clicks,
the points, the stares.
Did you know that I’m HQ?

I’m the reason for confetti.
The cheers, the “hip hip hoorays!”
I am the Honoree,
the Mother-ship,
the encore at the ballet.

I’m the ceremony.
The Laureate.
I take the cake.
In this little thing called life
did you know I raise the stakes?

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self help poet

Success: ini’s vs. axi’s (funny poem)

Sucess-ini’s are small sucesses:
successes of the smallest.
Success-axi’s are on the bigger side:
successes of the tallest.

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