Hilarious

Little Alphabeta

There was once a little girl
named a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-p-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-zed.
No one could pronounce her name
so they’d spell it out instead.

Poor little a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-p-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-zed
(let’s call her Alphabeta).
Her twenty six lettered name
proved to be an alpha-dilemma!

At school her teacher would call on her
(a task rife with verbal indigestion).
By the time she’d finished she would think:
“now just what was my original question!?”

As she grew (just like her name)
Alphabeta would still point & answer with description.
Insightful commentary it was indeed
for anyone who’d listen.

Pointing to her Aunt Maybelline:
“heart, lungs, liver & spleen”

Pointing to a cake at the baker’s counter:
“egg, vanilla, sugar, & a bit of flour.

Poor little Alphabeta
became quite the subject of town gossip.
“Did you hear what she said to Father Jon?
“Toupee & init for a profit!”

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Hilarious

There’s a machine in my stomach

There’s a machine in my stomach

with buttons “burp” and “giggle.”

One is activated by a fizzy drink,

the other by a tickle.

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Hilarious

Suspicious Granny

Granny smirking in her chair,
a suspicious Granny sitting.
Oh my dentures!
Have you seen
just what Granny’s knitting!?

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Hilarious

An 8 year old’s resume

Snowflake taster.

Recess connoisseur.

Goodie-bag aficionado.

Head lice chauffeur.

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Hilarious

Said the night bird

The early bird may get the worm

but the late bird gets them thrice.

(Worms wearing pajamas

taste very, very nice).

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