Mrs. Clause put Santa on a diet

but now he’s sitting in a cell.

His christmas eve mission this year…well,

did not really go so well.

Section 2 (breaking & entering)

was his Christmas morning crime.

 With no rosey cheeks or stomach round

he wasn’t recognized!

Thud! Santa flew down the chimney

(his belly used to provide some friction)

This year presents weren’t on his mind

… cupboard raiding was his mission!

Spotting the milk and cookies

he raced to them in a flash.

 Soon only crumbs and drops were left

 ……but Santa wanted the stash!

He would have gotten away with it

 if after the cookies he did scury.

It was the sound of pots and pans that night

that awoke the Jones in a fury.

“At 3am he stood in my kitchen,

 a skinny Santa eatting my squid!

He even brought his own apron that said:

“Being naughty saves me a trip!””

So Santa has a mugshot now

But his regrets are zero, null!

His grin has a message clear

“at least my tummy’s nice and full.”